Hey there people!
I know I haven't posted a single picture or even a word, and I'm so sorry! It's just all of this studying and lack of fast internet is bothering me. Now, I'm sitting in 9th grade right? So in Indonesia, at the end of the school year in 6th, 9th, and 12th grade, we have this huge test we HAVE to worry about, and if you're indonesian u pro'lly know this. Yeah, it's called UAN (Ujian Akhir Nasional which means School Final Exam). If we don't pass, we don't pass. Well, thats for most of the schools tho. HighScope, my school right now doesn't really use that test to go forward cause they're cool like that B-).
Unfortunately, I'm not going to HighScope anymore next year (ikr? sad face). My dad and mom refuses. I cried. I did. The truth is that my whole life, since I first entered 'school-life' I've been in HighScope, a school that has a totally different system (the way they teach is like how schools teach kids in America) and way of teaching from other schools and now I have to go to a public school because if I go to other school, I can't cause it's too late. I guess I'm just scared. Scared of leaving that safe-zone I've been in for the past 11 years (But at the same time I'm curious. Does that make sense? No right? I know so ignore this).
Moving on, I've actually never liked the word 'exam' and the exam itself. It makes me tense and if I'm doing it, my mind sometimes go blank. I somehow do it better when I'm just studying it. I've also never liked talking about these things with my family because they would just bring lots of topic about my future, where I'll go to next year, questions, and all that jazz. Well, I know they're doing it for my own good and I really love them for that. But in a way, by them being like that, I just kinda feel pressured. You know the kind of feeling that gives you squirmies in your tummy --by squirmies, I mean weird feeling--, the thought of failing, worries, and sometimes this cycling thing about your future if you fail and succeed your mind makes unconsciously. I actually dislike and disagree this final exam thing, but rules are rules so I gotta obey them.
The thing is, I reallyreallyreally want to spend my high school years abroad. Preferably in Canada, but my dad refused. It was my dream, but well I guess it'll never come true because of the fact that I'm spending all of my high school days in Indonesia. That is why, throughout my high school year, I'm going to make money on my own (I'll find a way, so wish me luck!) and just safe it up then run away from here. That's my plan, you all better shush honey buns cause it's a secret ;) I just want to experience something new, something daring, and not boring. I need that 'spice' in my life cause my life is getting flat and boring. Need more material to fill in my diary lol (Before you say anything, I know I'm lame for writing diaries when it's the 21st century but I just like that vintage feeling I always have when I'm writing my diary).
So, okay then thats all! To all the 9th graders out there, I know we have the same feeling right now so study hard just for now then you all could do whatever you want (but don't forget to still slip in that nerd-moment once in a while) and remember; School is important. It decides your future. So, study, party, and be carefree do the mash potato babes. Be a bad-egg-nerd --It's not impossible!--. Wish me luck & I'll wish you luck too! Love you all, kisses.
♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Enjoy you High School years. xos.
